One of those days in cashdayjob world when I wished the ground would open up and reveal a leafy path stretching away into a utopian landscape... beckoning green fronds, whispering streams... It didn't. Tried somewhat half-heartedly to write notes to myself all day as is my practise; just things I am thinking about or ideas for paintings; the best I managed was a piece of paper from this morning that reads 'masks, costumes, puppets, theatre'. This is a continuation of what has oftern concerned me in the last year or two and ties in with the angels who keep appearing. There are so many influences in films, paintings and just day to day looking at the magazines around, shop windows, books.. I have always had a thing about puppets; sometimes scary and sometimes for some reason emotional. I think it is the control thing and the idea of a creation, 'Frankenstein's monster' style of a little being that can be manipulated and made to dance to the puppetteer's tune. Obviously the film 'Being John Malkovich' has got into my head there, and today I found myself browsing the brochure for a puppet theatre festival taking place in the city; all very dark, which was appealing. Wolves, murderers; some great illustrations as well, but alas I forgot to save them. It is frustrating to have so many little ideas bubbling up when I have essentially got my hands tied a bit just now. At least I have reduced the hours of customer service to a more manageable level, but there is still so much to do and so much to think about. Trying to break it down into bite sized pieces, as alone none of the tasks are scary; en masse it seems like a massive undertaking. Reminding self that a) others have done this without turning into nervous wrecks, b) this too shall pass, c) there is really no other choice; I couldn't not do this now.
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