Not sure which circle of hell I have stumbled upon today but I bet my bottom dollar I'm in good company..! This is the circle of repainting, where the artist is destined to paint something with which they are reasonably satisfied; walk out the room, return and *bang* the face is wrong. Hold it up to the mirror (if you dare...) and *whap* the neck is wrong too. So is the other face, so is the left hand... The next (in this case) five hours are then spent juggling between mirror and easel, photos taken and examined in various lights and magnifications. Offending portions tweaked, tweaked again, repainted entirely, overpainted, tweaked again. Problem is that I have a total phobia of tweaked paintings and so the fear sets in at a certain point; 'oh no, that's it, it's never going to work now.' 'Might as well give up, but I've been at it for five hours now, so...' 'One last shot and then its the bucket for this one.'
Not in the bucket yet (the bin, for those who haven't had the pleasure of dwelling in Scotland these last fifteen years) but having a little rest just now to reassess the possibility of actually finishing the thing. Of course its for a show... its the pair to one I have already successfully completed... it started so well... maybe too well... damn that false confidence!
Haven't actually even showered yet, which bodes really badly for the time that I escape the grind of cashdayjob to work for myself; will it all go to pot? Scruffy, dirty 'cat lady' within weeks, shunned on public transport and seen shuffling around parks at night muttering to herself. Seems horribly possible just now.
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