Potatoes of the night

First day back at cash-day-money-soul-destroyer job. Actually it was fine and I felt weirdly good to be back; don' t tell anyone I said that - its just to do with makin' money I think and feeling as if I am fighting for the cause. I have found depths of motivation that I didn't expect this year; I guess if this was my only job I might be feeling frustrated but as back up for my painting it is ideal as I have basically zero stress and plenty of time to cook up pictures in my head and doodle things as they arrive. Looking at Paula Rego before I went in as her paintings from a particular era were in my head and I hadn't looked her up for a long time; the pictures I remember would have been from the nineties and I loved her monumental figures and sinister undertones. There is always a figure, animal, or group plotting something devilish or you imagine something is going down 'off camera' that is less than savoury. She also draws so well and the solidity of the bodies and their composition is spot on for me. Since I last looked the mood is the same but the drawing has increased in intensity and movement and the figures have taken centre stage; often just one sculptural female with a choppy, vigorous brush and line work. There were also shots of the artist in front of bigger, mural sized works in muted colours with mutliple figures - all look awesome, so I must try and keep an eye out for shows or see where some of them live permanently.

Quote of the day, probably paraphrased knowing me - 'These things they seem to cost money,

But money costs some dreams.' From the Hold Steady album; loving it, and what true words.

The pursuit of money and what I have considered an acceptable income has taken me full circle to the point last year when I

realised that this was all I was doing; chasing my tail and the crock of gold at the end of the rainbow. Halved my salary and I have without doubt never been happier or more comfortable in my own skin.

Painting tonight, starting up the 'Boatman' pic that is taking at least its first form now; I am aiming to use this one for my painting 'demo' on Friday. I am laying down the construction and some under layers so that I have something interesting to do for the gallery visitors; hopefully! The fun bit is always the latter stages for me when the prints go on and the colours lighten towards the front - the whole thing starts to pull together and only tweaking remains; this can go on for days or even weeks mind. Had a hairy moment with the very red/pink print which I was laying over lime green; not something you want to smudge or end up all over the place, so exactly the moment that Twig the kitten comes for a look-see. I ended up looking like a butcher or a mass murderer, but the cat and the studio remained fairly unscathed and thankfully the paint stayed in the right place on the painting.

And so to dinner; we have the basics of ten meals stowed in the freezer now- packs of chicken parts, burgers, meatballs and six tubs of chicken stock, great back-up for any weeks where the numbers don't quite add... Tonight we had a tasty burger night with salad and a saute potato thing with onions and beetroot - yummy. Beef burger for once tonight as mince was on special, with a concoction of chilli, smoked paprika, cajun spice, curry powder, sweet chilli sauce, onions and garlic; I think we can safely assume that Stu had a few jars to empty in the seasoning drawer. Came out damn fine, too. The potato thing reminded me of something my ma used to feed us when I was small(er), a similar idea which came in ambient packaging and was called something like swiss breakfast potato; strange the things that come back to you. I bought the potatoes for printing really, so that has to be an uber budget meal - eating your painting materials could be considered the height of desperation but in this case, not. When I start drawing on muesli boxes all things will be equal.