Eating the giant cake

When I was younger I had a recurring dream in which I was in a room that resembled the barn in Rumplestiltskin (Ladybird edition) in which the straw is spun to gold; in my dream it was myself and a mountain of sugar which I was being made to eat with a big dessert spoon. Mountains of sugar and a huge spoon. Last night I had a similar dream about a giant Christmas cake which I was eating as if my life depended on it, fighting off competition to stuff handfulls in my mouth. What the two dreams had is common is the feeling of wanting to eat and not wanting to eat; liking the sugar but being horrified by so much of it being forced upon me.

Sometimes when things puzzle us and their meaning is veiled, writing it down will help decipher the hidden message. Other times, and I am thinking that this is one of these occasions, this is not the case.

I am definately feeling restless and out of sorts though. I am used to finishing a period of painting and then wanting to move on, but I was so pleased with the work I had put up in the show last week that I thought maybe I would feel differently this time. Nope. My mind is already picking holes in the pictures and creating new ones in their place. The itchy feet of painting is possibly one of its curses; I wish that I could sit and relish a moment for once in a while, but I seem incapable. Maybe all this means is that I am not yet where I wish to be; this is certainly true, but it would be good to know that the incessant searching will end at some point. That I will be able to stand and be content with my place in the world and my little creations in it.

Does this have any connection to dreams of eating giant confectionary products? Have I been spending too long in the murky world of food retail?

Oh, and 'Luci', the painting at the top there, is my favourite of the moment and my inspiration for the new canvases under construction; just so I remember what point I was at come the start of December because, no doubt, by January I will have moved on...