Mary Shelley

Feeling like the Frankenstein creator tonight - why? I have created a monster... discovered that it is humanly possible to work eight hours in a supermarket, return home and create three wee box canvas paintings of which I am very proud. What does this mean? That I am about to discover new depths of fatigue as I throw myself hellbent into the last few weeks before Christmas shows open and maximum small painting sales can be envisaged. My legs and left arm are actually wobbly, although that is probably due to my lifelong and unshakeable crazy ways of sitting when painting. My sitting on feet era is over due to the cumulative abuse finally making my knees cry for mercy, but I still manage to 'perch' in ludicrous ways on my little chair, feet on tippy toes and butt-cheeks balanced perilously over thin air. I never notice until I stand up either, or pause to find a masking tape ball to throw for Twig the wonder kit, who will otherwise start making off with my brushes or digging in my paint box to get attention... the only time I really scream is when she actually jumps up on the easel and that is more because I am seeing vivid pictures of acrylic paint coating every surface of the house. She has managed to add her little signature to a couple of pictures by sliding down them on her way down the easel; she does it so quickly I don't get a say-so...

So another three little angels are sitting waiting to head off into galleries soon. I am actually feeling kind of euphoric but stupid as I feel that I am learning more from these paintings than I have in the rest of the year put together. What I really mean is that the cumulative lessons are finally coming to fruition and I am beginning to loosen up much more than I have previously found able to do. And on canvas too, which I have never thought of as my surface of choice. The big fat lesson, of course, is to kick all preconceptions into touch when you approach a new work, surface, medium, whatever, and let the painting lead you. Muck about, relax and see what is possible, not making decisions about things before you have had a go...

I am just pleased that things are starting to flow a little easier from my brush and pencil; I have spent my entire life wanting to find a way to capture the images in my head - it drove me to tears as a child and probably as an adult too. Now, gloriously, each day seems to bring me a little closer to the elusive angel.

More monsters tomorrow:)