Gazing at the Blue

Only two more posts and I am over half way in my year-long journey; I missed a couple of posts when I was on Skye with mum and the temptation was there to go 'oh no, failed' and quit, but I have continued. After all, the rules are mine and the blog police aren't on my tail. To put it another way, this is not an attempt for a Guiness record, just an adventure of my own devising.

Strange things happen in your head when you are painting a lot, quite fast. I was looking at the last three little angels that I painted on Sunday and couldn't remember starting them - then I realised what they had looked like in the beginning; like nothing. The first hour of painting left me feeling as if I was having a really bad day and maybe I should give up and do something else. A day later and the images complete, they are some of my favourites of the last month. Not sure what this says, if anything...

One of the new lessons learned which only dawned slowly today was a colour thing. I wish to veer off on a tangent briefly to explain where I am coming from here; one of the things I really 'get' about Buddhism is their stress on the two levels of 'knowing'. You can read something and 'know' it, for example 'we will all eventually die' but it takes years, experience, and study to have 'insight wisdom' of this fact. To really, really know it. So when I say that I realised only recently that a brown/black canvas with a patch of light blue will speak more of blue than a dark blue canvas with a patch of light blue, I mean it in this way. Sure, I went to college and read books that explained complementary colours and the relationship colours can have to each other, but it is only after a long time of looking that I have the lightbulb moment. It is about realising it on an inner level; and no, I don't think I am there yet, I just think I got a little closer. I would be ignorant to think otherwise. Learning continues until the day you die, which is why I hate to hear someone complain of boredom.

Finished a painting tonight where the subconscious mind took over and threw a curve ball at me; the image is of another red-headed angel in a dark background with a cat. The dress the angel wears began to look weirdly familiar to me as I added line and colour; then I realised that I had painted the dress I wore to one of my best friend's weddings, so many years ago. A red-headed friend with cats who is on my mind and in my dreams at the moment for various reasons.

Pop! Out it comes. I love the little ways of the mind. I have called it 'The Wedding Dress'.

Hoping to see the great Scottish folk band Lau on Wednesday night having realised that they are playing the Queen's Hall, one of my favourite venues; this depends on whether Stu's mood is such that he thinks giving up a free evening of rest will be acceptable; he is deep in exhaustion mode and I respect that. A chef's Christmas rota is not something to be sniffed at.

Roll on next year; I have seen the meaning of the words that have been in my head. 'Le Bleu de Chocolat'. The blue is always present in the chocolate, it just takes more looking to see it.