At home on the island

Another of the winter days that reminds me of the 'Spoon' lyric; 'the winter gets cold in ways you always forget'. Thats the seasons in a nutshell for me; it always takes me by surprise how long the winter is; when it snows I have to re-learn snow walking and snow travel-timing. On such days as these I am puzzled by the huge span of time since we last saw leaves and flickering sun through the trees. Days seem shorter each year and nights longer; the cold is damper and more cutting. Come the summer I am amazed all over again by the long days; being able to garden into the evening and wake to green outside the window and the chippering birds.

I am noticing the span of time this winter in particular as I count down to a change in our life and circumstances, while trying.. so.. hard not to count the minutes, the days and the seconds passing. I try to follow the very logical idea of living in the moment; relishing the time we have and not wasting days, evenings waiting for the next dawn, but it is suddenly very hard.

This said; today was very enjoyable despite the damp grey and the tendency to pessimism and worry that keeps settling on me. Met up with a friend in Stockbridge and obsessed over other peoples cafes while also managing a couple of fine charity shop purchases and seeing some small gallery shows along the way. Comparing notes with another artist does one of two things to me; fills me with fear for our collective fate at the hands of recession and poverty, or inspires me to carry on regardless in the face of the slings and arrows... today it kind of managed both. Bought a nice big piece of canvas and posted the painting I have just finished to FB to a small flurry of positive comments. Great way to manage the transition between paintings - find just the right amount of inspiration and support, stretch a new canvas and take the plunge. I can't help thinking how much easier it would be if I could see something out the window; I feel like an island.