Autumn blue

I'm angry with myself tonight because I'm tired and I can't settle to work; Twig is running mad around the house, including in my paint, which she usually remembers to avoid. I'm angry because there is no reason to feel sorry for myself; I have another show to focus on, more paintings to play with and I have spent all day feeling so positive. Why now? The autumn is coming on and the house is cold; kids are being noisy in the street outside which again is unusual.

I feel as if I really need to sleep but want to resolve the bit of painting that I did do; which true to form wasn't working as it is very mood sensitive. I am trying to recall at what point my mood swung from buoyant to deadbeat; why I am shouting at the cat and grinding my teeth to myself in the semi-darkness of my living room. One of the interesting things in reading the blog in retrospect will be to see if these moods are cyclical or whether I am just erratic. I'm going to quit tonight unashamedly and sleep for a few hours, see if the blues go away. Feeling how far we have come since this time last year when it was really like ploughing toffee on Arran and I was wondering if it was worth cutting and running despite being so close to the end. The autumn was beautiful, one of the more stunning times on the island, and I was loving the mornings, birds and hares in the valley and the ins and outs of the ferry under a sky showing the cold.

Can't decide whether this is one of those moments to just get back into the studio and get on with it or whether I actually do need to just settle my head; I have time tomorrow to sort the painting out and it might work easier in daylight.

Saw a great newspaper headline today; 'Boy, 9, cheats death in tree plunge'. Or should that read; 'Boy climbs tree, falls out, walks away'. Must be some quiet news day when a child not injuring itself is on the front page; maybe they'll go for a series and lead tomorrow with 'Girl, 7, avoids fractured ankle while skipping'. Brought to mind immediately the piece in 'The Shipping News' when a basic lesson in headline writing goes something like:

'What do you see, write the headline..'

'Dark clouds fill horizon.'

'No. *Deadly Storm Threatens Village*.'

'But what if no storm comes?'

'*Village Spared Deadly Storm*.'