Taming the beast

More things about ways of working kicked up my way; something that always fascinates me. The eternal questions of 'what is art?', 'why do I do it' and 'what are my aims, reasons, goals??'

I imagine to a non-creative person it must be a puzzle and why money always ends up under discussion; one of the first questions you are asked after a show is 'How much did you make?' If you shrug and suggest that it really wasn't about profit you are treated with at best suspicion, and usually the reply is a laugh and the insinuation that you are either lying or joking.

But it isn't about the money, it simply isn't. I know this because I am far less excited by a painting selling than by one going on show, and the last one I sold felt like a bereavement and I am still a little traumatised. The fact remains that it is an act of 'creation'. The painting is not a commodity, it is a child; the painter is the parent and creator, that is why we adopt that expression of pride and doubt when viewing our babies on the wall.

I ended up reading a catalogue of a show by Alan McGowan today which someone had left behind randomly at work, and found him to be a really visceral, elemental painter. A 'painter's painter' of the figure, who uses a wonderfully expressive and explosive build up of strokes, lines and feeling to create what must be very personal images. That is the kind of picture that looks to me as if the artist must leave the canvas exhausted by the emotion and energy released in creation; the soul exposed and moulded on the page.

Another piece I read about a writer whose name I failed to save, but who has written a very long vampire novel, talked about his writing methods, and how he wanted to use his unconscious feelings. His suggestion that all writers, creators, were trying to find a way of working that brought them closer to their unconscious; creation from withing without the translation of thought. I kind of get this as it ties in with my feeling that all my best paintings spring fully formed either in dreams or a sudden rush of inspiration that pops out of the blue; out of my unconscious mind. So, yes, I think finding a way to tap that experience is the best way to create work that fulfills the creator. But how to tap this, how to tame the beast? I guess that could be the million dollar question...