Mini-rant

Every now and then when I have time to sit down and catch breath I am amazed at the view from now to then. A few years ago I saw some images a friend had put up on his website which were photoshop abstract manipulations he had done. My first thought was how brave, and possibly foolish, he was to share his work in that way - with other humans?!! Nothing was further from my thoughts than sharing my painting with anyone other than myself between the four walls of my house; if someone rumbled me and asked about it I would blush and mutter that yes, I painted, but... I was rubbish, I didn't do it so much nowadays, I just do a bit for myself; I couldn't possibly show it to you.

Now, this was only around five years ago. Fact is, my confidence has come on so much in the last five (sober- no coincidence) years that it is unrecognisable to even me. Now, I have a website featuring not only all my work, but a 'front page' photo of me with a blue printed face; my Facebook page is constantly updated with new pictures, images of me in a face mask and dressing gown, and I blog to the world about whatever comes into my head of a day. Big change.

Looking at lots of amazing work by June Carey tonight on her website as I am in love with her pictures and the way she describes her working process; I think we have a lot in common in this way, although she is streets ahead in terms of technique and proliferation of ideas. ( And I am rubbish etc etc). Looking forward to hopefully meeting her in Glasgow on Wednesday as there is a show of five printmakers including June at the Big Mouth Coffee Company. Also interesting as they may be looking for other artists to show there, so must put in an appearance no matter how scary a prospect it seems right now.

My sketch books are full of ideas that never made the cut; pictures that could have been if I had only had the time and energy to fully realise them as finished pieces. I look at them and wonder where they would have led and how many other tangents I could have followed. This used to piss me off but now it makes me more determined than ever to reach this point in my work.

I am sure that if I can move from point a) where I was personally and artistically at the end of 2008 to point b) where I am now in such a short space of time, who knows where I can be by two, three, ten years time? I am totally committed to finding out.

Stu has started his work learning how to create the kind of frames I want to use too; he is looking at paint finishes and effects, waxes and oils. It is a beginning for him too; trying to find something beyond cooking peoples' dinners for a living and harnessing the creativity that is very much a part of him, however undeveloped.

Just getting excited tonight about the next ten years really; I think we will have a blast and create things that we will love. I also don't think this would have been possible without the trip to Arran that pushed down the walls of our comfort zone and forced us to think of alternate futures, not lazy options. Here we go, cooking another budget dinner and talking about our day and the future; planning ideas and projects - Stu is sanding wood in the kitchen and I am hurting my eyes blogging in the dark as part of my need to communicate and stretch my little creative universe. We are the calm little centre of our new brave world.

Discovered a great new word today as well via a New York chum; 'asshat'. Somehow it doesn't seem as crude as 'a-hole' and has a cat-in-the-hat quaintness about it; I love the mental image of the object of your annoyance with, for want of a better description, his ass as a hat. Works for me and I can think of plenty people I'd like to apply it to. Now lets draw that smily face with punctuation...