Gimme happy

Long ago, it seems, I was present at a kind of motivational day for the workers at the restaurant I was then employed in; I was sceptical at best. However, what emerged were some valuable and I might even say subliminal messages that have stayed with me ever since. One of them was an exercise in optimism and positive thinking; we were set the task of memorising everything brown in the room before closing our eyes. 'Now', said our coach, 'what is blue?' And yes, as he predicted, we all started naming parts of our clothing as the fact was, we hadn't been focusing on it, we had been looking for brown. The main point of the exercise was that we can make a choice what we see and how we see it; choose to see the negative (brown) or positive (blue). While I have some issues with the choice of colours - why does brown get to be the baddie? - I have found it useful over the years as it is often so easy to be bogged down in the brown.

Another trick I learnt, which is probably bleedin' obvious to some people, I don't know; is that your mood can be altered with the right prompts. I have mentioned my 'Kick-ass boogie' playlist before, and that is my version of the mood enhancer; when I am really procrastinating and not even vaguely feeling like painting I can usually jolly myself along into a state of creativity with a carefully administered dose of disco heaven (and boy, there are some cheesy ones on there!).

And so to my point. Tonight I am in a kick-ass angry mood which I just cannot shift and the reasons are multiple and verge on the infantile.

1) Someone nearly bought a painting from me and then went away for the weekend. So I may or may not have sold a painting. This is perfectly acceptable and in the shoes of the purchaser I hope I would do the same thing; fact is that I wouldn't, I am never that rational, so it is outside my modus operandi and therefore unsettling. This is not, however, a reason to be in a bad mood.

2) I was hoping to hear from my publisher that my cards were going in the Book Festival despite last minute technical hitches, but no email greeted my return today. Thus, short of visiting the first day of the Festival tomorrow, this is another Thing That I Won't Know Till Monday. However, focusing on the blue, I should be glad that I am getting published in the first place. This is not a reason to be in a bad mood.

3) Someone at cash-day-job patronised the living daylights out of me and I am still not entirely used to being in such a subservient position that I have to curb my natural reaction to rip them apart, at least verbally. No doubt the person in question will already have no memory of this occurence, so why am I thinking about it? Definately not a good reason to be in a bad mood.

4) Mum called just as I walked in the door, cats yowking at my heels and bags everywhere; then proceeded to keep me on the phone while my mood went rapidly south and my tea craving intensified. Still, she is lonely and older than she was, and I should rise above it. Nope, not a good reason to be in a bad mood.

5) Twig the wonder kit, once fed and watered, decided to dig in the box containing my postcards, totally trashing about ten. But yeah, you guessed it, there are still a few hundred in there and she is just an ickle kitty cat who doesn't understand mummy's silly postcards. No reason at all.

See what I'm doing here?

And you know what, I'm not sure it's working even now I'm typing it as well...

Nothing for it; I shall lie on the ground for a while staring at the ceiling and thinking slowly and clearly of all the amazingly good things that have happened thus far on my journey.

And then eat chocolate.