Break out the Party Poppers

It's that time again; which in our household nowadays means putting on Slaid Cleaves' 'One Good Year', (the version with the trumpet solo), and settling down to the serious business of being extremely grateful for how much we have gained or salvaged out of the past years. This is the second year in which I will not be serving meals to anyone except myself, Stu and the kits; I swore that my plate-carrying days were over last November and no matter how many days of food retail I am subjected to in the name of survival, I am grateful that this is still the case.

Stu will finish relatively early tonight although the Hogmanay 'perimeter' barriers mean that I will have to drive a circuitous route to rescue him from the woolly-hatted drunken hoards; I would sure hate to be sober in town tonight.

So. Where did I come from in 2010 and how do I end the year?... Last January I had been back from our stint on Arran for a month and a half; still a residual tan from the month in Vietnam but a lot of insecurity and worry for how we would survive the year on a greatly reduced budget with both of us still on only temporary contracts. Shortly after we were both made permanent and so that side of the load was lifted, although we have become very familiar and creative with pasta, curries and the now legendary 'leftover night'.

At the start of the year I had precisely zero shows lined up, but a newly cleared and organised studio and a head full of ideas from the far east and the year on Arran. A chance email kicked off the first show of the year, which took place in Adam House in March, a fundraiser for the Princes Trust. I painted 'live' for the opening, turning out to be the only one who turned up to do it despite quite a few promises; a terrifying experience to start with, but one which I was proud to have achieved. Now it seems commonplace... The next lucky break was entirelly due to the re-finding of an old college friend; the grapevine had let me know that she was still in town and recently diagnosed with breast cancer. I had to act, and after a ten year gap, we were delighted to discover that our friendship had survived as if in hibernation; since then she has beaten her illness and I have been cheered to have her back in my life. On one of our early outings, she showed me a new gallery in her home neighbourhood and I pulled together the courage to approach the painter/owner whose work I remembered from his time as gallery artist at another establishment across town. I was invited to collaborate on a spring show over the Leith Festival, and over the year my involvement has grown to the degree that I now paint in the gallery every Sunday and collaborated again on the winter show; 'Angel Haven' - paintings by myself and gallery owner Ritchie Collins.

Through another connection (my framer, who also displays paintings for me) I had some giclee prints produced to sell in both locations; the printer asked if I would like to publish some of my designs with them, and so I saw my paintings reproduced as cards for sale at the Edinburgh Book Festival.

In the autumn the opportunity arose to be part of a fundraising exercise for the Exhibiting Societies of Scottish Artists; an auction at Lyon and Turnbull. It was a great show and doubtless achveived its aims, but for me the highlight was opening the email flyer and discovering that my painting had been chosen for the advertising. For some reason it is extremely hard to believe that anyone else will think highly enough of your work to use it for anything other than fishwrap, so it is a major boost to find it used in a context such as this. A similar and equally inspiring moment occurred recently when I found one of my paintings in a FB friend's gallery of inspiring artwork; alongside Botticelli. Great moment.

The thing about this list is that it is growing as I write; now I realise that I have omitted the fact that the Marchmont Gallery hung two of my pictures in the summer and made me their 'artist of the month' on the website; the photo of me standing by the gallery window has to be one of my favouite images of the year... long should I remember that feeling. This show was the result of good old fashioned cold calling; turned up at the gallery with some prints hoping to get a look in and was sent away to return with originals; this again meant that I am in the winter show with some of my angels. Having spent the whole summer giving free reign to my winged ones for the Leith show, they spilled over into many small box canvases, which are resident in the Marchmont Gallery (or hopefully going home somewhere else) until the end of January.

Last but by no means least, I am also now showing (and on the website of) the Number Four gallery in St Abbs; a really inspiring selection of work in an amazing setting; taking the work down was one of my top days of the year, for sure. Coincidentally, I was playing the Slaid Cleaves track mentioned at the top of the page as I came across the most amazing view down the coastal cliffs in the dying golden sun. Moments like that stay with you.

Looking at the work from last January and the one before that I can say that I am surpassing my own expectations of what I can produce; I am excited at seeing how far I can push myself in the coming months.

Of course, I could do none of this without the friendship, humour and hard work of my sidekick Stu; I count myself very lucky that I have someone who will suffer my moods and quirks with unflinching support. And make me laugh at myself when I make deadpan pronouncements about my art which I then contradict in the same sentence. And not mind that many things in the house are now covered in paint.

Wishing all my friends, new and old, a very successful and satisfying year in 2011.

Last Legs

List writing; how relaxing is it... just read someone else's blog intoning us to write a list of everything we have 'shipped' this year. Now I have to confess to slight ignorance with the use of the word; in cashjob it would mean that something had been posted or sent, in 'The Usual Suspects' I took it to mean 'killed', although now I think on it, it could have meant 'dobbed in', 'grassed', 'gave up'. Not sure about that though, my first instinct may, as in many other instances, be the correct one. In the context of the blog, however, I take it to mean 'accomplishments'; projects completed. Had you asked me this one when I was between the ages of eight (or earlier, memory wobbly before then) and 18 you would have received a long, deep breath and a raised eyebrow; finishing things was not my strong suit. I remember coming across one of my numerous self-inflicted illuminated projects; this one was a natural history of Australia. An exercise book had been carefully laid out page by page with the name of an animal or plant at the top of each; under this on 90% of the pages was a big blank space. The pages that I had completed were well meaningly elaborate with descriptions, illustrations, maps and the like, but the resounding message of the piece was of a project abandoned.

I have a recurring dream in which I am at college starting a new term and trying to hide the fact that I have completed no work for the previous one; attempting to sign on for a new course and start again so that the lack of substance from the previous months will go unnoticed. As I am doing it there is a sinking feeling as I acknowledge that there is little likelihood of managing any better this term... I didn't have a great time with education and I am still trying to figure out why, as I love learning; it was school I despised.

I shall carry out this project though; my shippings this year have been quite astounding considering the position I was in at the start of the year and I feel it is time to reflect and take some credit for this. But not yet... the year is on its last legs but not down and out yet. Who knows what will occur to me in its final hours. List time tomorrow, and then we begin again.

To the Apple!

A blissful day, especially joyful in the knowledge that I am at liberty all next week and so I can sow the seeds and write the lists to get a lot achieved in the first week of the year. Also the run-up to my birthday, which was the optimistic reason for the holiday request; sadly we will not be running off to find snow or sun anywhere further than the Lothian hills and coast for the forseeable future. Many things to be glad of though and so much to look forward to in the new year so I am pretty upbeat.

Sent some images and a 'resume' off to the Amsterdam Whitney gallery in NYC today; they had emailed me requesting that I do so. Normally I am pretty blase about requests like this but I responded to this one as they were not after money as so many are, and because it fits scarily well into my own personal little life story at the present time. We have been toying with visiting Amsterdam because random people keep telling me reasons why I should go (and also because I love Schipol Airport) and I am trying to get to New York to visit a wee pal who I have recently regained contact with thanks to the wonder of Facebook. (pictured, in the Guggenheim, filming something) So... this all falls into the song lyrics, as it were. May well be a cul-de-sac but all will be revealed in the fullness of time. Having discovered how much I can achieve from so little in 2010 I am aiming for the stars in 2011; from dust to the stars...


Also became stupidly excited today upon purchasing and stretching my first canvas; having established that the process of mounting canvas on board to facilitate printing is pretty easy, I was left with a spare stretcher on which to mount some new canvas for painting. Turns out a lot cheaper too, as I had imagined, and now I have enough for two more big paintings and a few wee ones... of course I have run out of primer, but that's just a little thing and I can pick up more tomorrow. Naturally, Twig the kit decided that a sheaf of fresh canvas was a new bed and now it is a little on the hairy side, but at least she didn't do the claw sharpening thing on it. Yet. Must stash the leftover piece somewhere Twig-proof; half the house is now in various drawers, cupboards, the bathroom...ah, the things we do for love.

The lack of primer means that my hands are tied just now for starting a new one, but there are postcards to be pasted into a new book, sketches to be sketched, half a chapter of book to finish before I am onto Hemingway (for the first time!) and numerous computer related opportunities to follow up with regards to art communication and marketing. Never a dull moment.


And... still got a Crunchie left from the Christmas selection box! Bet its half size though.

Winter Slusherland

Started for work in the dark; reached work in the dark. Parked in the dark; on a ticket space... last traffic related expense of the year - I hope. Funnily enough, last year I managed a speeding fine while driving through the deserted early morning villages in the Cotswolds on Boxing day. You know the ones, where the speed limit changes fifteen times on a four mile stretch of road and you could reconstruct the Forth Rail Bridge with all the metal used for the warning signs for heaven only knows what. So this year it was parking instead; another fine way to spend the Christmas cheque from Stu's mum that just cleared into the bank account. Next year I should really go for something a little heftier; a spell of festive vandalism or good old fashioned armed robbery. Lets get a real fine.

Bizarrely I am in such an optimistic and jolly mood despite this dampener. The way I see it, it is all just numbers on paper anyway; just movin' them around a little. Did write a rather dark Haiku on the way to work though; but it was dark and dingy:

The snow has broken

All the Christmas tree branches

And melted to slush.

I guess its not the time to announce that I miss the snow, but they were good times tramping to work and back in wellies in the mysterious snowlight whistling to myself and looking forward to the re-warming back home. Must make it up to Lappland one of these years, but absolutely not on a mini tour taking in the reindeer farm and Santa's elves; needs to be the real deal.

A whole evening stretches out before me courtesy of the piddling hours I am working in dayjobworld this week so I shall make the most of it in valuable research and painting work. Could sure get used to this in an ideal world where money was a dim and distant memory of number shuffling.

The Next Best Thing

Little bit of a dilemma tonight as I realise that the pic on my blog's front page is 'advertising' Angels for Christmas. Do I just go with the shops and start advertising for Easter? Think I will simply add a reminder that the Number Four gallery in St Abbs has extended its Christmas/winter show until the end of January due to the fact that pretty much no-one got to see it as the gallery was embedded in a wall of snow.

Back to the dayjob with a mix of feelings today; partly a heavy heart after a couple of days reminding myself what life could be like in an ideal world when Stu and I actually see each other when awake and get to play with creative stuff... Partly feeling very optimistic that this will soon be the case; I have long given up trying to predict the ways of the world so can only keep bashing away.

Got around to lots of drawing and idea spinning over the two days of Christmas and enjoyed having someone to bounce things off; plenty studio time too with waiter service tea and chocolates. Could definately get used to this, especially if a beach was outside the window and the temperature was in the eighties... getting ahead of myself now, but I can dream. Settle for less if I have to..

The painting I have been working on is now complete after a very exuberant days painting yesterday and a late burst of surrealism; I had a feeling that show (at the Dean Gallery last week) would come out in some way or other. The original sketch is of an angel 'bust' sitting atop a table with another small angel beside it. As it progressed the angel came to life and so her cropped body looked more interesting/odd as it has progressed. Now the hands are on and she is left armless it is slightly stranger still; comic when I started this month convinced that I would have to start painting something more 'commercial' and more likely to sell. Fat chance; it just doesn't work that way.

This is the first time I have done a canvas of any size (as opposed to board) and already I am in love with the 'boingy' nature of the surface and the bobbly texture; both characteristics which I have previously quoted as to why I don't like working on canvas. Contrary is many an artists' middle name... The only thing I had to alter in the end was the fact that I wanted to potato print on it and frame it as I have the paintings on board, so tonight I cut it off the stretcher and PVAd it to a board for the final bits and pieces of pattern and varnishing. This definately falls into the category of things that I will only allow myself to do; Stu won't cut the boards for me once I have finished a painting so if I need to trim up with a saw or a Stanley that is always my job; that way if I go wrong and cut right through something crucial it is no-one's fault but my own. Has a way of focusing the mind, that. Thus the task of Stanley-ing a canvas and sticking it to a piece of wood was automatically my territory; went fine though, despite Twig's attempts to stick herself or some of her hair to the board along with the canvas.

Hoping to get this one framed up and put it in for the SSA open show; my submissions have been consistently unsuccessful for three or four years now so my hopes are somewhat limited; however, I am pleased with this piece so in it goes. As I have commented before, the last painting I have done is always my favourite, and for a few weeks I am always content that I have at last progressed in some major way. Then in week four I look at it suddenly with fresh eyes and I know that it is back to the easel again in search of the next great thing. I've liked this one for a while now, though, so maybe I am onto something at last; catch me next week and see how I feel...

Now. I am sure there are still chocolates in the house and it is my duty to finish them all as quickly as possible so as to remove the temptation from my kitchen. And we all know that chocolate consumed fast within two days of Christmas doesn't count. Or contain calories.

Five years

Celebrating five years since I quit the booze; a meaningful anniversary for me. Spent a large part of the day painting and the rest being happy and relaxing with Stu. Here's what I'm painting; titled 'Les Anges, les etoiles et la neige'.

Oh little town

A very merry Christmas with no shadow of Humbug. Chocolate eating, cat cuddling, beach walking, magazine browsing, chatting and laughing, singing in the kitchen. Now its time for dinner and a movie. Bon Noel.

The sky is quite green

At least in its reflection

In the beach puddles

A dog chases sticks:

The tea flask is warm despite

A foggy sea chill

The ducks fly over

Grazing the mist that wanders

Delicately close