The word that keeps appearing in my mind tonight is 'monumental', which is melodramatic in the extreme but sums up neatly how I feel. Worked my last 'monumental', longest-day-ever shift at the cashdayjob and find myself suddenly self employed at the helm of a new, yet to be trading company. The whole world laid out before me so to speak. Emmylou Harris' album title 'Stumble into Grace' also popped into my head, as more than anything I feel that I am stumbling into the future, but in a good way. The only way we can move forward is by taking little steps in a direction which can be described as 'unknown', as all the days to come are yet to reveal their little ways and secrets. All the talk of following dreams and making your own future come down to a few decisions and steps; the rest is stumbling on.. blundering ahead regardless of the pitfalls and worries. It is a good and terrifying feeling but I am very glad that I am on the path and moving forward bit by bit.
For now it is writing lists and chipping away at the many things that need to be done without concentrating too much on the big scary picture; I have learnt so far that this is the best way to progress, and before you know it hurdles have been overcome and decisions taken that will shape the rest of the process.
The wee cherry is flowering in the dark and I drove home in the most amazing sunset that burned the whole horizon with such intensity, the rest of the sky a gunmetal grey. Flowers in the dark, fire in the sky, a path yet to be revealed. We shall see what the morning brings.
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